Writing is Joy


I love to write. Whether it’s poetry or memoir or even casual blogs…I love it. I always have. I think it’s the one thing that I can see myself doing as a career and the one thing I can say I truly don’t feel is a chore. Now, writing for school can seem like  a chore and writing things that I find boring can seem like a chore, but deep down I love it. I am really proud of myself for the progress I have made in school (my creative writing program for my Master’s degree) and the progress I have made on my own personal blog. I seem to start my blog and write in it 2 or 3 times and then forget about it for months. In the beginning of 2012, I would write for a few weeks and then stop. In August 2012, I wrote several blogs and I did again t in November 2012 then again in January/February of this year. It’s like I would take several months off from my blog and I don’t want to do that anymore. I love writing and I love sharing my views even if no one reads them. My progress has been great this time. Since the end of June I have written a blog almost every single week, sometimes more!

The sad thing is I forgot how much relaxation and serenity writing brings me. As I suffer from anxiety, pregnancy hormones, raging emotions I know that I can easily turn these stressors into writing and it brings me joy. I guess sometimes we forget. I don’t want to forget anymore. I have 94 days left in my pregnancy and then a whole new amazing, awe inspiring, life changing chapter of our lives will begin. I need to embrace it and write about it. I want to say thank you (again) to all my readers and family and friends who stick by me, pray for me, send good, happy vibes my way. You all are the best. You help remind me who I am when the world around me seems dim. <3.  

Look out for more writing, more chapters to my memoir, To the Ends of the Earth and more updates about baby bug. I may just share another short post later today <3. (I know, I know three blog posts in one day! It’s a miracle.)

Overcoming


If anxiety seems like a theme in my writing this week, that’s because it is. Every day my little bug grows bigger and stronger and so does my anxiety and the odd part is that I don’t even worry about her (well, I do, but mostly about other things). Mostly I worry about things out of my control and it all comes from the fact that  I am afraid that some unknown force will keep us here longer. Which is the root of it, I’m homesick. I want to go home, and every day I have a gnawing fear that, that day will never come. Silly, I know because every day the sun rises and sets and another day passes, but it seems like that day may never arrive.

Logically, there is nothing wrong with living here. I have a beautiful house and puppy and a job that pays me to go to school and write things all day. The beaches are beautiful, the weather is warm, its like the paradise you’ve always imagined, but I guess at heart I’m like Dorothy and there really is no place like home. I’m trying a few things, meditation, talking to the doctor, deep breathing techniques…hopefully, this will help keep me relaxed and focused throughout the next few months and until we can get back home.

I would ask for a favor from my friends: please when you say your prayers, say an extra one for me and help me remember that things are never as bad as they seem. I could use a bit of Grace right now. Thank you. <3.