If anxiety seems like a theme in my writing this week, that’s because it is. Every day my little bug grows bigger and stronger and so does my anxiety and the odd part is that I don’t even worry about her (well, I do, but mostly about other things). Mostly I worry about things out of my control and it all comes from the fact that I am afraid that some unknown force will keep us here longer. Which is the root of it, I’m homesick. I want to go home, and every day I have a gnawing fear that, that day will never come. Silly, I know because every day the sun rises and sets and another day passes, but it seems like that day may never arrive.
Logically, there is nothing wrong with living here. I have a beautiful house and puppy and a job that pays me to go to school and write things all day. The beaches are beautiful, the weather is warm, its like the paradise you’ve always imagined, but I guess at heart I’m like Dorothy and there really is no place like home. I’m trying a few things, meditation, talking to the doctor, deep breathing techniques…hopefully, this will help keep me relaxed and focused throughout the next few months and until we can get back home.
I would ask for a favor from my friends: please when you say your prayers, say an extra one for me and help me remember that things are never as bad as they seem. I could use a bit of Grace right now. Thank you. <3.