What happens when you don’t feel good enough? I’ve been working really hard at work, but I feel that I keep coming up short. It’s not that anyone has said that in so many words, but it sure feels that way. On top of that, I worry about Sophia. What if I’m not eating enough vegetables, what if I don’t drink enough water, what if, what if, what if? Anyone who knows me, or has even met me in passing knows that I worry about everything. I do. I can’t help but get anxious over the smallest things and try as I might I can never quite relax.
These days my emotions are running on high and I know everything seems worse than it is, but it feels like my rose colored glasses have cracked and leave only the distorted perspective left. Usually, a nap and a bit of chocolate can solve my moods, but today chocolate isn’t helping. It’s not that I’m sad, I’m just stressed. I feel like I’m not moving forward-not in my writing, not in this pregnancy and not in school. I hate that I’m living life by a countdown. Without my husband bug, I’d be lost and I don’t think he has any idea how much he keeps me grounded. He’s literally my light. I’m just ready to go home, back to Maryland, back to North Carolina, back where our family and friends are. I’m ready for our little family to go home.