I was talking on Facebook with some of my classmates from my graduate program, one of them asked, “Has anyone gotten in any writing for fun lately?” We all laughed because this class takes up so much time, who can write anymore … but it made me sad. I rarely write for fun anymore. I used to love to write poems and stories, and even my blog posts. Now, I just work (write all day at work) and do homework. I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever get to write because I want to, or I feel the passion. Work is fun but it’s very structured. You write what the Marine Corps wants advertised and you write about cultural aspects of Okinawa. I always figured I would write about my life. I do on this blog, but I mean as a job. Sometimes I truly wonder how career woman manage a job, raising a family and being awake for most hours in the day. I don’t even have children and I’m tired. I guess I’m just exhausted and don’t know how to wake up.
The other day Sarah said that we have to be strong because we are warriors, and our Marines need to know they married warriors. I want very much to believe that I am a warrior, but right now, if we are being honest, I don’t feel like a warrior. Richie literally brings me joy unlike anything I have ever known. I love being with him, but what about the times he can’t be around? I try to be a warrior and a writer but I really just want to be asleep. People don’t tell you what homesickness is really like …. y ou don’t just feel homesick for a minute, you can feel homesick every single day but it’s not about going home. I wouldn’t go home without my husband, where he goes I go no matter what. I know some don’t understand that. The point is, Richie is my world and we have our life here in Japan together but that doesn’t mean we don’t ache for our culture, our hometown, the people who know us. That’s what I ache for …. the comforting whispers of familiarity.
Anybody have any good memories to bring me closer to home?