The Saddest Time of Day

The worst time of day for me is just before sunrise. That is when my (gorgeous and amazing) husband gets up and leaves for another long day. I don’t know if he will be home for dinner or after the sun goes down. I don’t even know if I will hear from him all day.  I just know he has to go. Without fail I wake up first. He never hears his alarms. Then I hug him tightly until he gets up to get dressed for his day. Sometimes I get up too and talk to him while he shaves. Other times I stay in bed and listen to him pack his gear and walk around in his boots. He always turns every light on and it makes me sad when he starts to flip each switch off. Then it’s a million I love yous and a kiss before he goes. I know that my day will be busy, playing with Shisha, searching for cars, jobs and catching up with friends but I miss him.  He leaves before 5 and starts his daily commute up North. And I lie awake (after moving into his spot and hugging his pillow). Some days I will just close my eyes and try to fall asleep, other days I play on my phone until I get tired. On rare occasion I will get up and start cleaning or doing laundry, anything to stop the sadness from creeping up on me. Today I stayed awake and caught up on my Facebook messages. My friend Sami will be having her baby girl any moment now. Carina is doing great too, just getting ready for her new arrival in November. I catch up on everyone’s news because while I was sleeping, they were going about their day back in the States. (This is actually a happy moment because I love seeing what everyone is up too). I think about last night’s amazing dinner. We gaf Mongolian BBQ with our awrsome neighbors. (I can only explain it as extreme ramen. It. Is. Ah-Mazing.)  We had a great time, laughing and eating and hanging out. I cuddle with Shisha bug. But I never fall right back asleep, I guess its different with the bed to yourself. 

Every night before dinner, I thank God for my husband. We,pray together for our familes and friends and give thanks for our blessings.  I know that I am blessed to have my husband home each night. I know that some of my friends are a million miles away from the man they love. I know they are strong and brave! Oorah! I just wish that sometimes bad guys would take a day off. Do you ever just hope that our Marines could come home early or go on vacation without worrying about a change in plans? Wishful thinking :).

Finally, after reading or writing or tossing and turning my eyelids get heavy. I will go back to sleep and when I wake up, we are that much closer to him coming back through the door. Maybe today, he will come home before dinner…hey, a girl can dream can’t she?



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