For those who know me, I am pretty resilient, pretty strong, very independent. I wouldn’t say that I am brave though. I get very nervous when I have to step out of my comfort zone (I do it anyway but I think that’s because I’m hard-headed). In Lejeune (*tear*) I hated staying at the apartment alone, hell I hated staying in my mom’s house alone. It just freaked me out for some reason. I’m learning that in Okinawa I am going to have to learn to be alone more often than not. Richie had overnight duty for the second time in three weeks and I had to sleep alone (I had my Shisha girl, of course.) I was pretty creeped out by it but then I realized I had to be brave so I went into our room and went to sleep. This morning I opened my eyes and I had survived the night! I also have to learn to be brave when I’m driving. For whatever reason the idea of getting lost here (even though its only 67 miles long) freaks me out. The cell service isn’t great (not that I would know where to tell someone I was if I did call) and I’m not to awesome with directions.
I wrote a while back that getting lost is my biggest fear. I’m starting to realize now that it is more about the unknown. (yes, that is what many people fear, I am no exception). Once, I let myself explore and experience things I start to love them but it takes a big leap of faith (with my eyes closed) to get there. So far my being brave in 2011 has been great. I got married (best decision ever), I moved to Okinawa with my husband (equally great decision-it would suck being home without him) and I have started exploring the island! Everything I do by myself, makes me more proud and strong. I know there will be a time when Richie Lee will have to leave me (whether for training or a deployment) and I will have to go out on my own. It’s a scary thought but I think that I can do it. I’m starting to make some really nice friends (including my awesome neighbors!). I have people here that I can count in if I get scared or sad or just plain confused. My puppy dog is the sweetest thing ever. I love her so much and she loves us right back. I am learning to be brave.
People say that my writing takes courage and skill. To open myself up like this, to make people feel my emotions through my words. To me, writing is as easy as breathing. It comes naturally. So maybe if I keep trying, being brave will come naturally too.